


a picture perfect family

by thepessimisticasshole



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Angst, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-29
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2018-05-10 02:25:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5565640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepessimisticasshole/pseuds/thepessimisticasshole
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a closer look at the mage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a picture perfect family

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: all characters belong to rainbow rowell

picture this:

a perfect family.

there’s a man, dark haired and handsome and smiling.

and there’s a woman, with butterscotch hair down to her waist and rosy cheeks and gently curved lips.

and there’s a blued eyed baby, chubby arm raised in the air. 

picture what could have.

picture what should have.

picture what would have been.

but it didn’t work out like that.

* * *

i think i loved her. i called her my lucy and i was so happy when our little simon began to show.

“this is it,” i would whisper. “he’s going to save the world.”

and he might- but it took all of lucy. 

and that’s when it started to go wrong. (that’s when _i_ started to go wrong.)

* * *

i dropped him off on a dark night, wrapped in a soft blue blanket with his name scrawled on his arm- simon snow. (everyone deserves a silly middle name.)

i didn’t want to. i wanted to add a letter, a long one.

_his name is simon snow._

_he’s the most important person you will ever meet, and you must treat him as such. you should teach him and keep him from harm and keep him happy, always._

_for her._

_his name is simon snow. his name is simon snow. he’s my baby, he’s her baby. she’s gone now._

_i have to give him up._

_it’s for the good of all of us._

i don’t.

* * *

when i see him, again, it’s like all the air has been sucked out of the universe.

his hair is gold and his eyes are blue and he’s looking at me with distrust, suspicion. he looks just like her.

“simon snow,” i say.

“how d’you know my name?”

 _i gave it to you_ , i want to say, although that would be a lie. i want him back, i want him back-

for the good of the people. the greater good.

 “you’re very important, simon.” he’s so important. he’s mine. he’s hers- “you’re the greatest mage anyone has ever known.”

“what?’

“you came in a prophesy. you’re destiny.”

* * *

i think i’m doing it right.

i don’t know. lucy was always the one that could tell.

“davy,” she would whisper. “davy, that’s not quite right.”

i listened to her, usually. she would know.

but i think i’m doing it right. i think i’m helping. 

* * *

i think about telling him.

“i’m your father,” i’d say, and he’d light up.

“really? you- really?”

and his lucy-glow would come back, and i’d smile reassuringly- _you won’t have to be alone, now_ \- and-

i can’t.

i don’t.


End file.
